Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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