oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
