508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
