so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
A bitchslap is in order.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
