I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Randomize
