Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
