when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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