I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
