You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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