My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize