I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
