O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
