I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
