this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Randomize
