I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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