Pappa wants mamma naked
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
