I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
