I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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