On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
