I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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