Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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