i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
