Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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