At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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