Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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