I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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