I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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