Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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