first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize