I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
