Already got asked if we're dating
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
