would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
