Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
