I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I look better un-naked...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Randomize
