I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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