you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
