did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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