stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
