That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
