just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
