You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
im holly from the hills drunk
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
where are my eyebrows?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
