its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
