That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
