OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
FUCK WHALES
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