i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Randomize
