Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
