I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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