OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just cropdusted the office
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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