Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
