No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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