So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
