Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
