Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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