Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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