question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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