You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
