my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
