where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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