i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
