We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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