highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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