Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
