There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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