You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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