Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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