My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
