So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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