Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
