I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
