I wish I could teleport
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
